One thing you learn fast as a barista in Dallas: everyone has a coffee personality. I’m not talking zodiac signs, I’m talking espresso-based archetypes. You start seeing patterns. You know who’s going to roll their eyes at our roast profile. You know who’s going to whisper, “What’s a cortado?” like it’s a dirty word.
Let us start with the Purist. Always want black coffee. No sugar, no milk. Usually wears a serious expression and probably roasts beans at home on weekends. They’ll ask questions like, “Do you know the elevation at which these were grown?” We pretend we do. Sometimes we actually do. Depends on the day.
Then there’s The Modifier. “I’ll have a half-caf oat milk flat white, extra hot, with two pumps sugar-free vanilla, but can you do it with ristretto shots instead of espresso?” Yes. Yes, we can. But please don’t look offended when we have to repeat the order back like a flight checklist.
I also love The First Timer. Usually, a high school kid or a teenager on a first date. They’ll stare at the menu like it’s quantum physics. We help them find something sweet, maybe a mocha or a caramel latte, and their eyes light up after the first sip. That never gets old.
And then there’s The Regular. They come in at the same time, every day, same order, same seat. It’s comforting like clockwork. One guy’s been coming for over a year and still hasn’t said more than ten words to me. But he tips well, so we’re good.
Let’s not forget the “I Don’t Do Coffee” People. They come in groups, order a single chai latte or hot chocolate to “be polite,” and then ask if we have smoothies. We don’t. But we smile anyway.
The truth is, I love this strange little theatre. Every day, a rotating cast of characters walks through our door. Some are caffeinated philosophers. Some just need a pick-me-up. Some are heartbreakingly kind. Others are learning.
Whatever they are, they’re my people—from espresso snobs to cold brew addicts. They keep the line long and the stories flowing. And for now, that’s enough to keep me grinding.
